The Satirical Retrospective 2021
A headline in the “Tagesanzeiger” of August 5: "Goldman Sachs reacts to the dissatisfaction of its employees with a salary increase". Really true. The junior analysts had complained about too much and too stressful work. We're talking over a hundred hours a week, mind you. And what does Goldman Sachs say? They say, "You know what? We'll just pay you a lot more money. Then it has to be all right". Impressive. These guys really know how to solve problems.
Coop lets customers rate the friendliness of its employees. Good news for the friends of power games: go shopping more often, they are completely at your mercy there...apart from the fact that there are certain requirements for the evaluation of employees: they should be professional, objective and comprehensible, and are? Correct: none of the above. Nevertheless, the Coop spokesperson says: "Repeated negative feedback from customers can be an occasion for constructive discussions with employees". He just does what spokespersons often do: Cast things in Teflon language.
A female sports climber puts her hands rubbed with magnesia on the back of her black trousers, which leaves white marks. what happens? The cameraman holds on to it, in close-up, for several seconds, and the director decides to show it in full length. Sometimes I think that the gender discussion is perhaps being conducted at too high a level. We could really be further along.
Stadler Rail receives a major order, which Peter Spuhler comments on as follows: "We are proud that our tried and tested flirt concept has once again won through internationally." All right, I know that's just the name of these trains, but still... you might ask yourself what kind of sales methods they use. How long will it be before someone finds this model name discriminatory? We are waiting with bated breath.
The CS intranet is reaching its capacity limits, which the bank is taking as an opportunity to assign its employees to ABC categories, with category C being called "non-essential". In this category, it can happen that you are simply thrown off the line because someone more important needs it. Then you know: you're in the “wooden class” – or rather, you were just sitting there. Now you are out. So if your employer calls you non-essential, I'd start thinking.
LinkedIn sends me the following message: "Tibor Koromzay, add Tibor Koromzay to your network. Do you know Tibor Koromzay? You and Tibor Koromzay have 3 common contacts." Just so we're clear: Tibor Koromzay, that's me. And I have more than three contacts in common with me.
A lot of things are no fun right now, but we shouldn't unlearn to laugh. In this spirit, I wish you, among many other things, enough cheerfulness for 2022.
